The other day I saw someone post on Instagram that she hates leaving her kids everyday to go to work, and it drives her crazy when stay at home moms suggest that they may need a break.
I thought that was a very interesting thing to post and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. If you know me well, you know I love my monkeys. I absolutely adore them. However, sometimes I do want a break from them. I’m with my monkeys from sun up to way later than sun down, and sometimes even through the night. I have seven humans I’m responsible for and they all need me in one way or another.
It can be exhausting.
I get it. The girl that posted this doesn’t want to have to leave her kids and go to work, but shaming moms who want to go to the bathroom without an audience doesn’t sit right with me.
I think the reason that I didn’t like her comment was that she was making herself a victim. Maybe she read my post on How To Be A Perpetual Victim? It sounded like to me that her hands are tied and she can’t do anything about her situation and now she can’t be doing what she wants to do. I understand how bad it feels when you want to be with your babies and can’t. I had to work after my first baby and I hated it. But instead of this mom getting frustrated with stay at home moms, how about working on her thoughts first?
Before you think I’m completely calloused, I understand that it is alright to feel frustrated about your situation, even angry. What I’m suggesting is that it isn’t helping you to live there and think that you have no options. You always have options. And most importantly you always have the option of choosing how you think about your current situation.
Here are a few possible thought changes that I came up with:
- I’m grateful that my children are watched by such loving people and that I’m able to provide for them.
- I look forward to the day that I can be a stay at home mom.
- I want to be a stay at home mom, so I’m going to find a way to make money at home and still spend time with my kids.
All those options are available to her now. When we are telling our story it can often be too easy to be the victim in it. I could tell you all about my day, how early I get up, how many questions I answer all day long, the meals I make, the messes I clean up, the people I teach, and my list could go on and on. I could choose to tell you how hard my day is; that nobody cares about me, and I’m just a maid, chef, and chauffeur and make myself miserable. Or I could tell you that somedays are a little exhausting, but overall I love my job! I love that I get to be with monkeys all day. And then I’d tell you all the ways that I’m awesome and be the heroine in my story.
And just a final thought, taking a break from your kids, spouse, or work can be quite refreshing. It helps give you the mental and physical clarity that we all need.