If we were going on a trip and I just told you to drive, we wouldn’t know where we were going and would just drive around and never get anywhere. But, if we said we’re going to the Grand Canyon we would be able to easily follow a map and get there.
We can take the same idea and apply it to our relationships. If at the end of the day you want to feel closer to your kids or have peace in your home, what path are you on to get there? Are you showing up angry and irritated everyday and then wondering why you’re not closer with your kids? Do you snap every time they do something that you think they shouldn’t? Do you freak out if they tell you they did something wrong?
If you’re doing any of the things mentioned above a lot, chances are you’re not going to grow closer with your kids. Now, nobody is perfect, you will mess up, but thankfully kids are very forgiving and over time as you practice new skills you will slowly stop your own bad behavior and replace it with better behavior that will give you the results you want. Think of it as every time you make a mistake and lose your cool, it’s just like taking a detour, you’re still headed to the Grand Canyon, but took a path that will take a little longer to get there.
Here are some suggestions of ways that you might want to be connected with your kids and actions that you can take to get you the results you want:
- Result-Open conversations with your kids. Action-Listen to your kids without getting mad or judgement.
- Result-Peace in your home. Action-Be peaceful. Mama’s mood effects the whole house.
- Result-Have fun together. Action-Play together with your kids now.
- Result-Have kids who know how to work. Action-Teach them how to work and in my opinion the best way to do that is to work alongside them.
I could go on and on, but hopefully you get the point. Think of what the result is that you want and then you’ll be able to see a good path to get you where you want to be.