I was a terrible mom yesterday. My baby starting teething Sunday night and cried ALL NIGHT LONG!!! My husband and I took shifts with the fevered little monster. When I finally got out of bed in the morning I was not in the mood to play mom. All my kids bugged me and I didn’t want to do anything. I cried when my husband left for work; how in the world was I going to get through the day without killing someone?
Did you watch my video of the Four Phases of Happiness? It’s great, you’ll love it. Anyway, I talked about the ring of fire stage. It’s the stage that you do crappy stuff, but you are aware that you are creating your own misery. That is where I was hanging out and it’s a crappy place to be.
I was making myself miserable with negative thoughts. “This is too hard.” “I’m so tired.” “I have too much to do to take care of a fussy baby.” I wanted to take a nap, but Sir Fussy Pants wouldn’t sleep unless he was in my arms and I can’t sleep well with a baby in my arms, I fidget too much.
I painted myself into a corner and I was irritable and kind of a jerk.
Obviously a lot of my day was out of my control. I couldn’t control the fact that my baby kept me up most of the night; I couldn’t control that he cried most of the day; I couldn’t control that I still had to run kids to an orthodontist appointment; I had control of one thing: my thoughts.
Luckily, by dinner time I decided to change my thoughts to stuff a lot more useful. “I’m grateful I have big kids who can hold the baby so I can get some stuff done.” “I’m grateful for a husband who usually takes the baby every single night.” “This is only temporary, he won’t cry forever.”
Whatever our thoughts are they create our feelings. When I changed my thoughts I stopped feeling so bad for myself and was able to feel at peace, even with a screaming 9 month old.