A while back I wrote How To Be A Perpetual Victim. I don’t know what mood I was in when I wrote it, but it still makes me laugh. I live on sarcasm and kombucha. Whenever I write a post I have to go back and clean up all the sarcastic comments. I am, and will probably always be, the funniest person I know.
Anyway, I promised that I would go through each step of being a perpetual victim and actually help you on how to not let it control you. We’ll start with the first one:
Having incredibly high expectations.
This was one that was hard for me to understand at first. I thought that if I didn’t have high expectations for my kids they would be bums and never contribute anything to society. But when your expectations are so high nobody is ever able to reach them and it leaves everyone annoyed and frustrated.
Let me give you an example. You go out and ask your kids to have the kitchen cleaned by the time you get back. You have the expectation that because you asked something of them they should have it done, but when you come home they haven’t even started; you yell at everyone because you’re always the one to has to clean the kitchen and nobody cares. Now everyone is upset and hurrying and doing the dishes to avoid the wrath that is spewing out of you. You’re even more frustrated because you yelled and when the family goes to bed that night everyone is grumpy.
I may or may not be using that from my own experience.
But, what if when you came back home and the kitchen isn’t cleaned and you kindly remind your kids to clean it up. They most likely feel bad that they forgot to clean it and hurry to get it done. You tell them thanks for doing it and nobody is mad. You still had expectations for them, but were understanding when it didn’t go according to plan. The dishes still were cleaned, just in a different way then you thought they would be.
Most of the time life doesn’t go according to plan and if you have high expectations you are going to constantly be frustrated. You can still have expectations, but don't let your panties get in a twist when things don’t go the way you thought they would because they’re probably not.
I have this quote hanging up in my school room/baby’s room: "Expectation is the root of all heartache,” by William Shakespeare. It helps me to remember that sometimes my own heartache is caused from me having too high of expectations.